Keyser Soze
2016-08-24 14:46:35 UTC
To My Redneck American Community: What The Hell Do You Have to Lose
By A. Whitney Brown
And now, to my Redneck American Community, where are my Rednecks? There
they are, there’s my Redneck American, okay… For generations, you have
been giving your vote to the Republicans, and what has it gotten you?
Nothing! Your lives are a catastrophe, believe me. You have no health
care, your children are all dying of meth and heroin, you have no
education, you are shooting yourselves with your own guns on accident
every day. So sad. Just a disaster.
You have been losing, losing, losing. The big banks are buying all your
farms, you have nothing to eat but junk food, you all have diabetes, and
your water is totally poisoned from all the fracking going on.
Absolutely horrendous. A complete waste. And what do you get for it?
Nothing! Even the gays are better off than you. They’re taking all your
marriages. Your homes are totally broken, I can tell you.
The Republicans have totally taken you for granted. They think you’re
stupid! They are taking advantage of you and it’s got to end, believe
me. The Democrats will straighten this out so fast it will make your
head spin. We will give you Medicaid, if you will just vote in a
Democrat governor, believe me. It will happen. I guarantee it. What the
hell do you have to lose?
We will fix your environment, we will clean up your water, we will help
you get educated, and we will take the guns away from your crazy
neighbor. It’s going to be beautiful, believe me. We will give you
Obamacare, we will give you an Obamaphone, and we will help your
children go to college if they are smart enough. We will fix your roads
and and bridges and we will stock lunker bass in all your fishing holes.
We are going to build bridges and roads, and send your kids to college.
And who is going to pay for it? The billionaires, that’s right. They are
going to pay their fair share once and for all. You are going to start
winning again, and it is going to be beautiful. You are going to win so
much you’re going to get tired of winning. You’ll say, Democrats, stop
with the winning all the time, I can’t take it, and we will say, no, we
are going to keep on winning for all the Redneck Americans. We will be
your voice! What the hell do you have to lose, I ask you? And after 4
years, I guarantee you we will have 95 percent of the Redneck American
vote. I guarantee it. Believe me. Just give us a chance.
By A. Whitney Brown
And now, to my Redneck American Community, where are my Rednecks? There
they are, there’s my Redneck American, okay… For generations, you have
been giving your vote to the Republicans, and what has it gotten you?
Nothing! Your lives are a catastrophe, believe me. You have no health
care, your children are all dying of meth and heroin, you have no
education, you are shooting yourselves with your own guns on accident
every day. So sad. Just a disaster.
You have been losing, losing, losing. The big banks are buying all your
farms, you have nothing to eat but junk food, you all have diabetes, and
your water is totally poisoned from all the fracking going on.
Absolutely horrendous. A complete waste. And what do you get for it?
Nothing! Even the gays are better off than you. They’re taking all your
marriages. Your homes are totally broken, I can tell you.
The Republicans have totally taken you for granted. They think you’re
stupid! They are taking advantage of you and it’s got to end, believe
me. The Democrats will straighten this out so fast it will make your
head spin. We will give you Medicaid, if you will just vote in a
Democrat governor, believe me. It will happen. I guarantee it. What the
hell do you have to lose?
We will fix your environment, we will clean up your water, we will help
you get educated, and we will take the guns away from your crazy
neighbor. It’s going to be beautiful, believe me. We will give you
Obamacare, we will give you an Obamaphone, and we will help your
children go to college if they are smart enough. We will fix your roads
and and bridges and we will stock lunker bass in all your fishing holes.
We are going to build bridges and roads, and send your kids to college.
And who is going to pay for it? The billionaires, that’s right. They are
going to pay their fair share once and for all. You are going to start
winning again, and it is going to be beautiful. You are going to win so
much you’re going to get tired of winning. You’ll say, Democrats, stop
with the winning all the time, I can’t take it, and we will say, no, we
are going to keep on winning for all the Redneck Americans. We will be
your voice! What the hell do you have to lose, I ask you? And after 4
years, I guarantee you we will have 95 percent of the Redneck American
vote. I guarantee it. Believe me. Just give us a chance.